


Cave and Greg, Science Buddies

by OrinokoMcGee



Category: Doctor Who, Portal (Video Game)
Genre: A totally platonic relationship between Cave and Greg, Nothing in the incredibly huge contract that says that Cave and Greg are secretly an item, Other, They be science buddies, Totally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:27:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3586332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrinokoMcGee/pseuds/OrinokoMcGee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You would think that Aperture Science, the place of dreams and nightmares would have very good security systems. So tight that nothing could get in. Sadly this is not the case. If you happen to be a certain timelord.</p><p>Summary: Cave Johnson is confused and Greg has no idea as to what is happening.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cave and Greg, Science Buddies

Cave Johnson: So the engineers tell me that the sky is blue, the grass is green and that my security needs to be doubled because something is trying to get inside the test chamber, I really hope it’s no one from that Black Mesa corporation, because, well it’ll be another one to throw into the incinerator. Not that we do that, because we don't...only the unlucky ones...moving swiftly on.

Cave Johnson: Greg has just informed me that the intruder, may not be human and we may have some kind of human hybrid thing on our hands. The only that still hasn’t been explained by our so called experts is how the hell did it get in. Don’t know why we are paying these guys. Any way, if you happen to spot robots with expensive turret guns, don’t worry, they are just an army of highly unstable robots capable of destroying mankind. Cave took care of it.

Cave Johnson: Cave Johnson here, CEO of Aperture Science, so there’s this guy whose been hiding behind walls causing trouble. He’s bad, I see you mister, you’re not very good at hiding or sneaking around, Also what the hell are you wearing? I mean, terrible completely terrible. Hang on is that a bowtie? Who wears a bowtie? Yes buddy I can see what you’re doing. Not very Clever.

Cave Johnson: Okay Mr Clever, you solve the test if you’re so smart…Okay whatever that thing is stop pointing it at me. I have no idea what that thing is. Kinda looks like a probe. I do not like where this is heading.

Cave Johnson: He’s cheating, He’s actually cheating on this test. How is he doing this? You can’t chest on a test of this magnitude. It’s insane. This is supposed to be a puzzle and he’s, just cheating. WOULD YOU REFRAIN FROM CHEATING AT THIS TEST! 

Cave Johnson: I really liked the idea of the deadly robots kicking this guy’s butt, however this does not seem to be happening, all they are doing is dancing, not forcing deadly weapons of mass destruction on him, dancing, who the hell invented these things anyway, certainly wasn't me.

Cave Johnson: I really have no idea what is going on right now. Why does crazy things always happen on this day.? Last month an army of pensioners broke into the staff lounge and ate everyone’s lunch. We were not happy. Took a whole day to round them up and take them back to the retirement home. The retirement home. Just want to point that out in case you misheard retirement home for incinerator.

Cave Johnson: Alrighty, so the situation has been solved. After the guy finished the test, or rather cheated his way through the course with that green flashy probe thing. Greg told me that he ran inside a blue box and just disappeared into thin air. Whoosh gone. Man, I don’t know what Greg has been smoking but whatever it is, i don’t want it. 

Cave Johnson: Okay test subject, now it’s your turn. Complete the test without the aid of cheating, Really if you cheat in this test, The Robots with be set to kill mode. Let’s just say it won’t be good for you and it certainly be good for the cleaning ladies that will have to clean up your bloody remains.

Cave Johnson: Well done test subject you have successfully completed this test without cheating. Good for you. We are all very pleased. Right onto the next test, hopefully nothing out of the ordinary will happen, like i don’t know…unicorns in the men’s restroom…whats that…oh crap…turns out from a employee who seems to be in shock, poor guy, that there’s actually unicorns in the men’s restroom…what’s next a resonance cascade?

**Author's Note:**

> I may continue with this.  
> More crossovers with portal, like I dunno...Five nights at Freddy's. Donna getting teleported into the facility...
> 
> Cave Johnson: I do not like where this is going.  
> Donna: Oi, where the hell am I?  
> Cave Johnson: Err.  
> Donna: Where the hell is this place?
> 
> Leave me a comment if you want more of my tat.


End file.
